Breaking up with Ubuntu

Dear John Ubuntu,

I don’t really know how to say this, except to be honest and up front. Please don’t take this personally. This just isn’t going to work out between us. I’d like to say that it’s all my fault, and that it’s not you, but I just don’t think that is really true. It is you. I mean, I tried liking you, I really did. I tried to install you on three different computers, and I can’t get one of them to work properly with you installed.

First, I tried to install you on my personal laptop. You created a 20 GB drive for yourself, and you installed okay (but not great — for some reason you couldn’t use my built-in wireless card; my computer is only a year and a half old), but when I used the administrative tools to check for updates, you started to update, and then crashed. Now you won’t boot up in normal mode, or even in recovery mode. Not only do you not boot, but you are still hogging up 20 GB of space on my hard drive. I’m going to have to go into Windows and delete the partition, and re-add the Windows boot files so I can even get Windows to load normally.

Next, I tried to install you on my personal desktop. This time you simply won’t install. You give a long error message. I’ve searched the Ubuntu forums to see if I could find a solution. Lots of people have a similar problem, but I couldn’t find an answer.

Finally, I tried to install you on my work laptop (sorry, boss). You installed fine on this computer, but for some reason, you refuse to display anything when you are docked. I have two monitors attached to my dock, and when I boot you up (or re-dock you when already booted), you show a bunch of blank screens. Again, I visited the Ubuntu forums looking for solutions, and again I walked away empty handed. Plus, you couldn’t run the update because you claimed that something else was blocking the process. No other programs were running (that I could see). When I went to try to install Flash player, first I was shown a list of five different Linux versions to choose from. None of them actually installed Flash for me. This time you recognized my wireless card, but you can’t connect to my work network. You give me lots of options for connecting to my network, but I don’t know what they are all for. Windows 7 just asks me for my username and password. But you need more information than that, apparently, because you won’t connect with just that information.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I guess we just aren’t meant for each other. I know that everybody loves to bash Microsoft, but I’m going back to my Windows 7. I turn it on, and it just works. My wireless works without a bunch of effort. Windows Update just works. Flash has one option for installation in Firefox, and it just works. It attaches to my docking station and both my external monitors just work.

My dear Ubuntu, you have so much growing to do before you are ready for a non-geek audience (and I consider myself a fringe geek!). Look me up when you have worked out your bugs. Let me know when I can reliably install you on three different computers and have basic features (like wireless cards and external monitors connected via a hardware dock) that work across multiple computers without a bunch of specialized configuration. Maybe then I’ll try you again. But in the meantime, I’m sticking with Windows 7. It just works.

Good luck, Ubuntu. I wish you well. But now just doesn’t seem like the right time for me and you. You don’t work for me, and Windows 7 does. But thanks. It was fun (kind of) while it lasted.

Can I please have my 20GB back on both hard drives now? I’ll send a friend over to pick them up.