I’m really, really, really not interested. Really.


I’m getting ready to walk out the door when the phone rings. I pick up the phone, sale and I know I’m in trouble when after I say “Hello” there is a full three-second silence on the other end. That means that whoever is calling has used a computer to dial my number; that means I probably don’t want to talk to them.

Telemarketer: Is Paul Phierson there?
Me: I’m Paul. [I leave out the fact that he only got half of my name right.]
T: Yes this is [I don’t remember his name] from your Chase Platinum Visa card calling, pills and I am calling you this evening to inform you of some changes that have been made to your Chase Platinum Visa card. Now, sildenafil Paul, in the last three months we’ve been noticing a drastic increase in the number of fraud cases involving credit cards just like yours. We have therefore implemented a program that will help protect you against that kind of fraud. The program I’m describing will watch over your account twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If any activity occurs on your account that appears may be fraud, we will alert you within twenty four hours. In addition, we will cover all the cards you currently have, even if they are from other issuers. If your wallet is ever lost or stolen, you can make one call to us, and we will cancel all your cards, and have additional cards issued to you within twenty-four hours. Now, you are going to get to review all this information in a packet that will be sent to you at the small cost of one dollar and fifty cents, which is fully refundable at the end of thirty days if you decide that this protection is not right for you. Now, in order to get this packet sent off to you, all I have to do is to verify your mailing address, which is at…
M: I’m not interested.
T: Well, I understand your situation, but…
M: You haven’t ASKED me about my situation, so you can’t understand it.
T: We are talking about protection for your credit cards, and it will only cost you one dollar and fifty cents in order to review this information in your home for thirty days.
M: I’m not interested.
T: We are also going to cover you for up to five thousand dollars of unauthorized charges against any of your covered accounts.
M: I’m really not interested.
T: We will also pay the fees to hire a lawyer for you in case you need to litigate against anybody who has used your account.
M: Still not interested.
T: You don’t want to be able to go to bed and sleep and night, feeling safe and secure, knowing that your credit cards are protected?
M: I think I’ll manage. I’m really not interested.
T: But…
M: Really, no thank you.


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