My Diagnosis: A.A.A.A.D


I received the following e-mail forward today from my co-worker, more about Cordell. It made me laugh, so I thought I’d post it here for your enjoyment.


MY DIAGNOSIS

I had a physical the other day and was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. …. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

…. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

…. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

…. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

…. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

…. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

…. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.

…. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

…. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

…. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

…. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

…. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

…. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

…. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

…. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

…. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

…. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

…. At the end of the day:
* the car isn’t washed
* the bills aren’t paid
* there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
* the flowers don’t have enough water,
* there is still only 1 check in my check book,
* I can’t find the remote,
* I can’t find my glasses,
* and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

…. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

…. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.


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